Oh good, we’re dunking coffee beans in wine now.

A recent article in Time states that two NorCal/Napa coffee guys have created wine-infused coffee, because I guess that’s something people have been wanting. Molinari Private Reserve is a collaboration between Rick Molinari of Molinari Caffe in Napa (legend has it if you say “Molinari” three times, he’ll appear and dunk your beans in some vin) and John Weaver of Wild Card Roasters in San Rafael, California, who worked together for over two years to “perfect the combination” of wine and coffee.

We here at Sprudge love us some wine and we’re kinda into coffee too, but that doesn’t mean the twain should meet. I love ice cream and I would cut someone for just a single piece of uni, but that doesn’t mean I’m getting a table for three at Uchi so I can bring Ben and Jerry (well, maybe I would after chugging a lug of some of that Somatik, but you see what I’m getting at). Some flavors are best enjoyed discretely.

And I’d even be willing to say that the Molinari Private Reserve achieves the Platonic ideal of wine-infused coffee. Weaver spent over 20 years roasting for Peet’s Coffee before starting Wild Card, so the man obviously knows his way around a roaster. And MPR only uses “carefully selected [green] coffee” that gets “rehydrated to a specific liquid percentage using a special house made red” that was “created exclusively for Molinari by local Napa wineries.” Which is all to say, it’s probably the best version of what it is. But what it is seems like a gimmick targeting chardonnay-breakfast soccer moms (or dads). Just because it’s the best iteration of a thing doesn’t mean I want to drink it. There’s also a Platonic ideal of a steamy coil of poo, soooo…

One of my esteemed colleagues here at Sprudge was lucky enough to receive a sample of Molinari Private Reserve. His full review complete with tasting notes can be found here.

But what do I know? I don’t even like barrel-aged coffee. I’m just a rude dude with a ‘tude tryna harsh your coffee wine dreams. Maybe it isn’t less than the sum of its parts. The first batch of Molinari Private Reserve already sold out, and at $19.95 for a half-pound bag, that’s saying something. People seem to be into it. If it sounds like something you’d be interested in, order a bag for yourself and give it a go.

But maybe wait until it’s not on backorder, because as their website notes (in bold no less), “Backorders require a 5 bag minimum.” And that’s two pounds more go-fuck-yourself than I’m comfortable purchasing at one time, thank you very much.

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.

*top image via Molinari Caffe

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