mr sparkle

Be still my heart, but not like, cardiac arrest still. A company in Japan has just created a coffee butter. Well, not a butter exactly, but a butter-like margarine sort of spread. Details, details.

As reported by the Independent, the product is called Snow Brand Coffee Soft (butter-like spreads are called “softs” in Japan) and will be released on March 1st by Megmilk Snow Brand Company to celebrate the 55th anniversary of their coffee drink, which the articles states is one of the “most popular beverages in Japan.” Snow Brand Coffee Softs will only be available in Japanese grocery stores, but at only 230 Yen per package—$2.03 USD—it’s probably well worth whatever the shipping cost is to get a pat Stateside.

Where this new coffee spread will fall in the pantheon of butters remains to be seen. Will it beat out chaff and cascara butters as coffee’s supreme spread? Or will it be relegated to merely a tool in the hands of a vengeful barista? My guess is it that ultimately coffee butter will fall somewhere between cocoa and peanut. I remain steady in my confidence that it won’t topple the undisputed king: speculoos cookie butter.

The real questions are: how does it taste as an Inception-esque bulletproof coffee and can you make weed butter with it? These are the questions we need some industrious “health nuts” and stoners, respectively (or not, mix and match), to answer post haste.

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.

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